At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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