oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize