There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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