I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
