Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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