everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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