i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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