Is it normal to miss your booty call?
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
