Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm sobbing to NWA
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
