You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
you mean i was at the winter classic?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize