So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
