I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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