I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
