I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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