So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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