You're so nebulous sometimes
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
