brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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