Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
