please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
40s are totally the cure
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize