I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
