and she was petting her beer can
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
