Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
