i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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