I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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