Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
