remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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