Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
