the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
