I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
