Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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