You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
