Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Randomize
