I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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