just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
