It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
