god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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