WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
