I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
