why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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