Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
