I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
