i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
