Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
