I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
