I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
