he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize