batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
