kristin has been a bad kristin
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
