I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
