he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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