his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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