loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
