fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
