Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Randomize
