It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
