I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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