my phone needs a breathalizer
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
