i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
