I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
