No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
