so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
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